The Immutable rules of Sven Hassel novels.

Tony, I wouldn't worry about a few BB's in there to be honest. The room is minging anyway, that's why they cook on a BBQ outside it!

ok thanks
sgt heide

ok thanks
sgt heide

Your vids are great mate,you need to put on a accent and they would be better.

this is posted in the wanted thread, but ive put it here as it seems more appropriate.

the good thing about a panzer load out, is you dont need webbing, zeltbahns, or any other Essentail infantry items, just your black outfit, a gun of some kind , and a couple of mags,

in woodland it may be an idea to get an oak smock, the blacks not tactical use unless you roll in some wet mud, and that would defeat the object of wearing it.

as in the war the black is just a posers out fit, it was NEVER supposed to be worn outside of the tank, standing orders stated that off the tanks pazners crews must wear grey.

this was flouted throughout the war, and lots of soliders used it as walking out dress,

REAL LIFE NOW,

when in the regualar army in the 1st royal tank regiment, we too had black overalls, only the RTR are allowed to wear them, when doing a march past the cenotaph in london, did we wear NO2 derss?????

did we bollox , the colonel had us marching through london in black overalls, red cravats, and black berets, we looked far better than the army of red and brown.

thats why me and paul go for the black, its an head turner, in america and germany on troop exchanges with other armed forces , you always get the "who are those guys looks", and on exercise when you mix and match with camo jackets, it screws people up they dont know what you are.

A Short (long) tale of a tankies exercise i was on in 1995, and unconventonal kit/standards .

my best ever exercise was on salsbury plain, our tank was "destroyed"
and we were sent through the system as replacements.
the infantry were being beasted for dying, inspections, of kit , feet etc
and we were forced in the same process,
tankys wear/use what the hell they like, (officers think, no one will see them in a tank, so who cares)
trooper gregory stood on parade with infantry, wearing Green wellys, (easy to take of so no mud in me gunners seat) black overalls, US m65 combat jacket over the top , and black berret . no webbing/helmet, sa80 (no mags or ammo) no food , no water bottle, civvy socks (White).

the infantry company sergant major, went f***ING balistic, and threatened to charge me," whos in charge of your shower of shit, "he said

"my troop leader ,, SSSSSIIIIIIIIIRRRRR", i say in an insubordinate tone, and i point at my 2nd LT , who looks at me with a "thanks greggy" look.

hes stood there in black overalls, barbour jacket with RANKS SLIDES , with 9mm pistol in a belt round his waist, and a berret with no cap badge.

the csm stormed off muttering "tanky wankers, shitheaps" etc etc

they refused to feed / water us, "a soldier should carry his survival kit with him," a sergant said

to which i looked at my troop leader and replyed " sir where did you put that 4 man ration pack, and 25l jerrycan, in your arse pocket??"

the troop leader, told me not to antagonize the infantry NCOs,

and the farce being,, we were on a camp , with cookhouse, naffi , but the infantry ncos wouldnt let anyone leave the grassed area, untill we went back out on exercise,

so i "escaped" to the naffi, and returned with pockets full of ginsters and chocolate, and bottles of coke, the 4 tankies sat eating this feast , when the CSM storms over,and singles me out "where did you get this lot, youve disobayed and order"

b4 i can say up yours , the troop leader leaned over, and said "emergancy rations CSM, i had them in my barbour jacket".

that ended the conversation, training, and inspections of the tankies, we were just left alone, untill the four tonner took us back to our tank.

i just loved being a tank soldier. and thanks to 2nd lt millar, a new officer, but he had the common sense to look after his lads, and as such, we kept him out of the shit on MANY occasions

another favorite of mine was to "sell" brews to infantry troops.

when in a hide on hard routine, (no fires/generators) no hot water

on a tank , it had "battle links", which were sealed, and could only be used in time of war. cross the links, and all 6 tank battreys can power the turret for a while, thermal , traverse etc. (IN SILENCE)

i had "FOUND" a set of lockwire pliers and some seals, whilst "CHECKING" the r.e.m.e (mechanics) workshops, whilst on camp guard duty one night.

so cold febuary day, men all round shivvering, cold food and no brews.

greggy sits on tank turret, no top on, and has a lovley wash and shave in HOT water, whilst eating hot food and having a brew. then i throw a bowl of hot wash water , "over the side" and it lands near an infantry foxhole.

2 mins later a grubby face peers in to my turret, and a grunt says, "can i have a brew"

cost you i said,

"what", weve got fuck all, said the grunt.
"give us a mag of blanks, and you can have a brew ", said i
deal done , happy grunt, happy tankie ( i fired a blank, hammered the empty case in the front end of barrel the wrong way round, load another blank, and hey presto, a patented empty case shooter)

a few minutes later, another grunt come up the tank side, "can i buy a brew"

and so my buisness began, i had loads of schermullys, thunderflashes, smoke grenades, even some money , and ration chocolate

the cost, sod all to me ( cost the taxpayer 6 new battreys), but i had to keep a straight face, when the next morning, we had to jump start the tank, , and at the end of the day the battreys wouldnt hold a charge, the REME got on, checked, and said "the battrey plates in all 6 batts are warped, and broken, looks like a short, or battle links have been used"

the artifficer inspected the battle links, " there fine, there still sealed, must be an electrical fault", so we got 6 new battrys, and a poor electricain spent hours back at camp checking for faults

most tankies stored lager/bitter, in the charge bins, it kept it cool, and no officer EVER looked in them.

but one guy actually sold beer to the grunts, and we only found out later, the grunts called his tank "the bar", and my tank "the naffi"

i also used to rent out our shitter chair. ( a polyprop chair with a hole in the seat) for a comfy sit down crap VERY POPULAR WITH THE GRUNTS

Another favorite was a squadron smoker,

midway through an exercise, a maintanence day would be called,
drivers did maintanence, all other crew members collected wood.

a huge bonfire would be built, and enough wood stockpiled to burn it all nightlong.

as soon as darkness fell , the bonfire would be lit and everyone would then get bladdered, tell jokes , and sing dirty songs, then there would be a fight between liverpool and manchester fans, and BURY FCs only supporter would gob off and get filled in by both sides.

then came the OIL GAME,

a tree , at least 12 inches thick, Which was usally felled with axes, illegally, and by drunken soldiers.

the aforementioned tree would be propped accross the fire on oil drums , forming a bridge. men then showed how brave they were by walking over the bridge, with a 25 litre drum of oil, on their shoulder with the bung removed.

it starts with gearbox oil, a slow burn, and progresses through engine oil, stearing/brake oil, gun oil and then hydraulic oil, Very nice cracklle, and the idea is NOT to run as the flames flare up behind you.

the more pissed people got the sillier the oil used and the bigger the flames. it usually ended up wuth poeple sprinting over the log with a can of diesel/petrol, and all sorts of concoctions mixed from the oil cans.

every man had a halon extinguisher,(each tank had 5) the 1 shot throw away type, and anyone who "SMOKED", or even caught light, was ambushed at the end of the log, and frozen half to death by over enthusiastic squadies.

lots of reports the next day on accidental discharge of extingushers, and a massive demand order for replacement oils

just seen how long the posts are, sorry to bore anyone, and fill up the thread,

but i thought some of my real life experiances , slightly mirror the sven hassel ethos,

bored squaddies, whatever nationality , get up to fun/mischief

Anthony, don't stop the stories mate - you are the modern-day Sven Hassel!

Anthony, don't stop the stories mate - you are the modern-day Sven Hassel!

Without the 555 batalion bit though. Cool stories mate. if you dont mind telling us dont stop.

Don't know my mates Craig Lowe or Alan Jaggs from 1RTR do you?

Craig was ex 45 commando and CPL, Jaggsy is still in and th ugliest man in NATO

Called him panbash, hes a Staff SGT now.

I hope you don't mind me jumping in the squaddies stories.

In 2006, I was on exercise in Kenya. It was the middle of the worst drought for years and the "jungle" we were supposed to be training in was dry and dead.
However, the trees in Kenya all have spikes. Most common being the "Aya aya" trees (we called them the "Aya f**kers!", since that's what people tend to say when walking into one in the dark).
We were ordered out onto an OP patrol in a particularly dark night, through a particularly densely brushed area. On this patrol, our section was to have guests, the training major and the attached-by-the-hip captain. I was third man, and they slotted in behind me.
Picking our way carefully through the terrain, I kept looking back regularly to make sure our guests were keeping up. Just as we were comming upto a dried out riverbed, I glanced back but saw nothing following. In that hissing whisper I call forward
"boss, we lost em!"
"I thought we would eventually. Ok, go back and find them, we'll stop here in the riverbed."
It wasn't far untill I found them. In the darkness I saw the shape of a training major standing still, someone helping him with somthing. It turns out that the major was cought monging it, by a tree. This tree wasn't going to let go either.

In an altogether different evironment back in 2005 (Benbecular), I was made pointman of a night patrol, so I carried the only map and compas we had. We were to move 4km in total darkness into position ready for an attack at dawn. For those who have never been to this delightful island off the west coast of Scotland, it's a giant sponge. Even if it hasn't been raining for a day or so, you're still soaked to the bone by moving about.
So, patrolling along, I stop to take a bearing, take 2 steps forward and stop again. The boss comes forward and whispers;
"What's up?"
"nothing, it's just that lake isn't on the map. Left or right?"
"Lets go left"
So we go left, trying to pick out the dryest possible route even though we're all drenched and freezing. I'm concentrating hard to bring us round this obsticle without getting totally lost, with a whole patrol following me. Taking my baring again, the boss comes up again
"You know where we are, right?"
"Yes."
Without another word, I move on. Moving through a damp valley between two hills, hip deep in the undergrowth. I stop to take my baring again. Again, I get a whisper in my ear...
"Where are we then?"
I point to the ground. "Here" and move off again.
Finally I lead the patrol to a hillside and stop halfway up. The boss comes up.
"Is this it?"
I reply with a smile;
"Maybe, I just wanna sleep."
He gives me a funny look, and orders the patrol to lie up untill first light.
As the sun came up, we found ourselves just 10 meters away from where we were meant to be. The boss never questioned my navigation again for the rest of the exercise.

Some great storys lads morgs what reg?

7 btn, Royal Regiment of Scotland.
Formerly 51st highlanders.

7 btn, Royal Regiment of Scotland.
Formerly 51st highlanders.

You still in?

Yes.
Just came back from Iraq last month so offically I'm on post-tour leave untill the end of July.

Yes.
Just came back from Iraq last month so offically I'm on post-tour leave untill the end of July.

Nice one,have you ever done airsoft befour i have only done it twice.

Airsofting, nope. CR will be both my first airsofting an my first time dressed as a WW2 soldier!

Airsofting, nope. CR will be both my first airsofting an my first time dressed as a WW2 soldier!

Hope you enjoy it mate what you going as?

British Airborne.
Got a tommy gun comming in the post.

British Airborne.
Got a tommy gun comming in the post.

Wish i was going would of been a Panzer crew man.Joining the Paras when i come of age me.